Black Heaven 6

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I'm casting for the lead role in my imagination
TOURK BLAKE
He's me
Like my avatar on another plane of existence
V Cool
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So this first guy comes along and he's like whatever
He's all shakespearean and s%#$
He keeps wanting to know what his motivation is
I shout at him from my directors chair
"You're in the desert, your hair's all Leif Garrett, your leg is your sword and you're wearing a cool ass black tracky. That's your effing motivate dude."
And he still all pale hook nose skywalker ranch whatever
"CUT"
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This next guy comes along and is all handsome and stuff
He seems comfortable in the tracky
He doesn't ask me anything
He just kind of acts all sucky at being hero or something
And then he's kind of forgetable in a Steven Dorff kind of way
So I forget him
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Then there's this crazy f#$%ing Estonian guy
He just runs on set grabs the sword which is his leg and shouts
"My Fatherland, My Happiness and Joy"
And starts stabbing s#$%
And I'm all like woah dude
And he's like stabbing at the sand and the props and he's really into it
And I kind of like him
And he's wearing these cool shoes with the tracky that didn't come from wardobe
But then I think of the accent and all the over dubbing we'd have to do
And I'm less keen
I guess I'll have to keep on looking
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I wonder if we can actually get someone with a real third demon arm?
That would be way cool
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