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12 May…
The sun set is amazing. All gold and toffee flecked. Sweet and gooey just for me. Rowan is asleep in the cabin, he is fully sated. Me too, I haven’t felt this happy - this free I suppose - in a long time. I’m glad Rowan talked me into coming. We needed this and the sea. Like a dark purple blanket of silk before me, its a shot of inspiration.
I’ve been carrying around a weight ever since that first girl. I’m not deluding myself that it won’t come back but for now, here, it’s lifted.
Funny I used to struggle with vegetarianism, righteous one minute, drooling over a platter of chicken satay skewers the next. Rowan was a dedicated carnivore. If the dish didn’t contain meat he would send it back.
Neither of us can bear the smell of animal flesh now. We’re still doing dairy and to a lesser extent eggs but meat makes us balk. The band is pretty disgusted, they think its Rowan’s choice and my influence on him. I don’t care, it makes me feel better cosmically.
We need to feed to survive. I wonder how karma copes with that.
That first time I fed I thought I would choke. But weirdly the warmth of the blood sliding down my throat felt good. Rowan showed me how to make the wound, the sucking motion came naturally.
The girl was wasted when we found her, some dirtbag was trying to get her in a cab. We feigned friendship and Rowan chased off the sleaze. Then we took her home and violated her in a different way.
Afterward we drove her to the address on her license. Rowan used her own key to get into her house and put on the couch. He was in and out quickly and apparently no one else woke up or saw him.
I obsessed over it for weeks after. Wondering how she had felt when she woke up on the couch. All hazy and hung over and weak from blood loss, a bruise and puncture marks on her inner thigh.
Rowan told me not to think about. He battered me with justifications, ‘we took less blood than the Red Cross’, ‘it’s not like we actually harmed her, she’ll be fine’, and ‘maybe we saved her from something worse’.
Maybe… God I don’t want to think about it now, just focus on the sweet sand beneath my toes and the clear beautiful skin of my lover, waiting for me no more than 10 feet away
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The sun set is amazing. All gold and toffee flecked. Sweet and gooey just for me. Rowan is asleep in the cabin, he is fully sated. Me too, I haven’t felt this happy - this free I suppose - in a long time. I’m glad Rowan talked me into coming. We needed this and the sea. Like a dark purple blanket of silk before me, its a shot of inspiration.
I’ve been carrying around a weight ever since that first girl. I’m not deluding myself that it won’t come back but for now, here, it’s lifted.
Funny I used to struggle with vegetarianism, righteous one minute, drooling over a platter of chicken satay skewers the next. Rowan was a dedicated carnivore. If the dish didn’t contain meat he would send it back.
Neither of us can bear the smell of animal flesh now. We’re still doing dairy and to a lesser extent eggs but meat makes us balk. The band is pretty disgusted, they think its Rowan’s choice and my influence on him. I don’t care, it makes me feel better cosmically.
We need to feed to survive. I wonder how karma copes with that.
That first time I fed I thought I would choke. But weirdly the warmth of the blood sliding down my throat felt good. Rowan showed me how to make the wound, the sucking motion came naturally.
The girl was wasted when we found her, some dirtbag was trying to get her in a cab. We feigned friendship and Rowan chased off the sleaze. Then we took her home and violated her in a different way.
Afterward we drove her to the address on her license. Rowan used her own key to get into her house and put on the couch. He was in and out quickly and apparently no one else woke up or saw him.
I obsessed over it for weeks after. Wondering how she had felt when she woke up on the couch. All hazy and hung over and weak from blood loss, a bruise and puncture marks on her inner thigh.
Rowan told me not to think about. He battered me with justifications, ‘we took less blood than the Red Cross’, ‘it’s not like we actually harmed her, she’ll be fine’, and ‘maybe we saved her from something worse’.
Maybe… God I don’t want to think about it now, just focus on the sweet sand beneath my toes and the clear beautiful skin of my lover, waiting for me no more than 10 feet away
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1 comment:
Looks like a hybrid between Kate Moss and Megan Fox. :)
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