IMPOSSIBLE GIRL - 17

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Backstage
Conversation # IG (IGirl) RB (Rowan Bark)

IG: Hey…
RB: I’ve been waiting for you.
IG: All your life?
RB: Maybe.
RB: What’d you think?
IG: Very polished. Sexy. If I didn’t know you I’d definitely want to screw you.
RB: But because you do?
IG: I still want to screw you.
RB: That’s what I like to hear.
IG: Mmmmmm…. Now?
RB: Not right now.
IG: Shame.
RB: I saw him in the audience.
IG: Row…
RB: He was almost directly behind you at one point, I don’t think you knew.
IG: I had no idea he was coming.
RB: Did you speak to him?
IG: Briefly. He said to tell you he was impressed.
RB: Why was he here?
IG: He said he was in town and was interested. Who cares? Let’s just have a good time with our friends.
RB: I don’t trust him.
IG: And I don’t trust the fucking hundred or so groupies at the back stage door. I thought we agreed it was irrelevant.
RB: Was he with someone when you spoke to him.
IG: No. Why?
RB: I thought I saw Belinda next to him.
IG: What…. Are you sure?
RB: Not sure, it was only for a second.
IG: I should warn him.
RB: Warn him? What was he doing with her?
IG: What was she doing with him?
RB: You still fucking love him.
IG: Do you even realize what you’re saying? I have to call him.
RB: Suit yourself. I’m going to drink.
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IMPOSSIBLE GIRL - 16

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Fancy seeing you here
Conversation # M (Mark) IG (IGirl) F (Friend)

M: I thought I saw you.
IG: Where else would I be? It is my boyfriends gig. I live in this city.
M: Are you angry that I’m here?
IG: Sometimes you’re a real fucking idiot Mark.
M: It’s not illegal to come to a gig. I’m in town for work.
F: That chick’s taking a photo with her mobile.
M: Nice to see you Jess.
F: Likely.
M: Tell Rowan I was impressed.
IG: I’m glad you enjoyed it. We’ve got to go.
M: Sure, next time.
………………………………………………….
F: There’ll be love triangle gossip all over Twitter before the hours out.
IG: Not much I can do about that.
F: We could just get really pissed and not worry about it.
IG: That was definitely my intention.
F: Like old times.
IG: Yep. There’s Benji, let’s get out of the crowd.

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Title - J

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IMPOSSIBLE GIRL - 15

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Conversing at a Gig
Conversation # F (Friend) IG (IGirl)

F: It’s not like the old days is it?
IG: What…thirty people in a dingy bar.
F: Thirty really rockin people.
IG: This crowd is rocking.
F: Yeah.
……………………………………………
F: Is that Mark?
IG: What?
F: Mark?
IG: WHAT?
F: IS THAT MARK OVER THERE?
IG: Fuck.
F: Let’s move.
IG: WHAT?
F: MOVE – BAR – QUIETER.
IG: Okay.
……………………………………………
F: What’s he doing here?
IG: No idea.
F: I wouldn’t have taken him for a fan.
IG: No.
F: Is it true. Are you fucking him when you’re overseas?
IG: Yeah. And now I’ve invited him here because that’s the sort of vindictive bitch I am.
F: You know I didn’t mean it like that. I never asked before. Don’t shut me out.
IG: Sorry.
F: Well are you?
IG: No I’m not. But he’s been… a comfort.
F: Like taking comfort from a pit of fucking rattlesnakes.
IG: He’s changed.
F: Not enough to stay away from here.
IG: Let’s get a drink, people are staring.
F: You get a drink. I don’t want to miss the last song.
IG: Don’t be like that.
F: Like what?
IG: Cut. The stuff between Rowan and me, it’s not about Mark. It’s not my fault.
F: It makes it really fucked for everyone.
IG: I’m sorry if I burst your bubble. It’s fucked for me too.
F: I know… it’s just…
IG: What.
F: I just want you to be happy. And Rowan.
IG: I want it too. Can we get a drink?
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IMPOSSIBLE GIRL - 14

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Belinda had dropped in while IGirl was away. He hadn’t told her, didn’t know how. IGirl was desperate to meet Belinda. Partly because she wanted to claw her eyes out, partly because she wanted her own link to the truth.

It was a short visit. She asked him how his songwriting was going, smug look on her face, as if she was somehow responsible for his success. He hated her, could barely look at her. He couldn’t believe he had risked IGirl for that night. More then risked. In many ways he had lost her.

He would be happy if he never saw Belinda again. If he could crush her, kill her, anything to get rid of her, he would.

But he couldn’t. IGirl was right, she was their only link. Besides which, he was afraid.

She came bearing warnings, hints and small instructions. Rowan had no idea who or what was driving these interviews but he knew they weren’t Belinda’s idea. She hated him as much as he hated her.

‘The acne look isn’t mandatory,’ she had said with a smirk.

IGirl hated it, they both did. Sore dry red welts that covered their legs and arms, faces when they didn’t feed.

Belinda skin was clear, lush even. There was a ticket price on that skin though. It didn’t need to be spelled out.
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Title - I

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IMPOSSIBLE GIRL - 13

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An uneasy truce. Timid smiles and each wanting to please the other. Or at least not displease them. Someone always broke it eventually.

This time it was IGirl’s turn.

‘We need to know what’s happening to us.’

‘You think I don’t want to know,’ Rowan replied.

‘I’m going to see a doctor, specialist or something.’

‘You can’t, fuck you know this.’

These conversations aggravated him. They always came back to one thing. His guilt. His weakness that had gotten them into this. He was sick of feeling guilty.

And he was finding some faith. Starting to believe they had a future, something more then the immediate success they were both grasping at.

After the shower he had slept and dreamed of her, bodysurfing on a huge wave, smiling as she dipped her fingers into the foam. A grey blue skirt billowed out behind her and her breasts were raised above the water. She was his dark mermaid, barreling towards him. Happy. He could read the love in her eyes.

Why was she ruining the mood with this conversation?
‘A doctor will just tell you it’s psychosomatic anyway, they don’t have a clue,’ he hoped this would put an end to the discussion. For now anyway.

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